Being 18 months old, your daughter is in an age where turning out towards the world is a natural development. He didnt want to talk to his dad when he was with his mom either. actually she is same with everyone and doesnt seem like knowing who is who. I breastfeed and she doesnt like when I look at her or she will fuss again. even though i felt rejected i didnt stop trying to hold her or trying to play with her. It really hurts and more so because i am going through so many medical problems after my pregnancy. When I pick her up from her caregivers house after work, I am so excited because I count down the minutes until I see my precious baby only to get her in my arms and have her reach out for her caregiver. But my 14month old is obsessed with his dad and it totally kills me. Your baby is enjoying the world around him and right now grandma is great fun. And I swear to g-d it feels like hes being a jerk on purpose sometimes. And the fact that your daughter is now fussy eater may have absolutely nothing to do with those difficult times. i completely agree with you and also want to add that our love and care is imprinting our children on a sub-concious level. It has shown to be a very effective tool to make children both bond and co-operate instead of challenging us and our rules. 1. I do the same, care, dress, cook, feed, bottle. fnaf security breach drawings sundrop. Please take care. In addition, she might have trauma and losses in her background to deal with. Or has anyone here experienced their toddler crying when they hear the parents voice on the phone and they are fine once they see them? It has been 37 years and we are not close. this is just a phase. Mom is getting really depressed with this and is the reason for many of the heated arguments between us. It's never easy dealing with a toddler rejecting mom. If you're going to continue pumping, have a plan in place. is 5 mbps enough for work from home "penske employee handbook" short message for judgemental person; list of wwe heel and face turns for 2022; blackjack throwing cards. by Ashley Jones July 13, 2021 Everything that happens in your life once you have a baby just feels different.. i just feel like a bad parent coz as soon as my partner comes home my daughter is all smiles again, so she makes me out to be a lier. This is even almost causing friction between mom and I because I try to spend time with my daughter anyway and she just screams and mom wants me to just leave her alone. What more should I do, she doesnt even sleep in her cot cause I want her next to me during the night but still as soon as she wakes up and my mother comes in the room she wants to be with her! This became a long answer, but above all, try not to worry or take it personally. But when I worked at being breezy, he seemed to want to be around me again. 6. Even if i hold my hand out for her, she clings to my MIL and my husband. This time is so precious and so short. Laura, youre not silly, youre human! It really hurts me. My son is 9 months old and , Ive always taken care of him feed, everything he needs Ive been by his side since we left the hospital, now that I moved to another state he doesnt call me momma anymore he calls it to his grandma he just doesnt seem to need me anymore . i want to know if this is normal or just a phrae shes going through. If I hold him, he wriggles and cries to get away. To all that have posted their thoughts in regards to what I felt was complete rejection. Give your girl as much time, love, attention, and body contact as you can. However, based on that you say your wife is concerned that your daughter doesnt like her anymore, it makes me believe that this situation has not been going on since she was an infant. Her father does go out a lot with her on his days but I do not drive and all we do is stay at home. After reading these posts I made sure to remain absolutely calm and neutral and not get teary or upset when he preferred his daddy over me. it has been like this for over a year now & i now just resent them. I did not breastfeed her as a baby. Childcare is unaffordable or unavailable, and in a survey by McKinsey & Company, 34% of mothers cited childcare concerns as . I just got back to my parents and was so relieved to see my son but he acted and is acting uninterested in me but my husband got a huge happy reaction from our baby. When they put him on my chest right after delivery it was the most beautiful moment of my life. It is heart-breaking, what can I do? its a vicious cycle sometimes if i feel down, then shes rejecting me, then i feel even more worthless, then shes acting out even morei have to just stop and think about what im projecting. And I would say it is actually a good sign. Pump or hand express your milk. This cookbook contains about 200 recipes and photos of how to make delicious meals easily and quickly. I miss my baby terribly. He cant be without her for even a minute. The sun will rise tomorrow, and tomorrow is a fresh start. I often wonder if day care would be a better option. should i just let her be with whoever she wants to be with? My son has done this to me ever since he was about 4 months old. When she comes home from nursery its a whole lot worse, I think its because she has been with other women who are completely fun all of the time. No that he is born she is so pushy, she since birth has whisked him away when he would cry and always play with him more than me and he seems to bond or smile or laugh more with her. Mine is something similar. That is actually a very sensitive age when separation and stranger anxiety set is. Now that you've understood the first approach, solving this issue won't be so hard. Consider co-sleeping, where your daughter sleeps between the two of you. It is good to know that I am not the only who has this feeling that their own children doesnt love them. Since leaving home 2 go 2 Asia when our baby was 7 months, our internet routine continued. Babies have a huge radar for love. Nursing strikes can be frightening and upsetting to both you and your baby, but they are almost always temporary. While the rate for men with children under 18 hovered between 92.2% and 95.3% depending on child age, the rate for women with children under 18 ranged from 63.8% and 77%. For quite some time now (actually since my daughter was about 3 months old) Ive had this very same concern that my daughter does not love me. I sing endless versions of Wheels on the Bus, and a million other things. I can understand that your sons behavior is making you sad. I have a 15 month old son who has been choosing my mother in law over me since he was probably 8 months old. But unless one is emotionally stable, it can be almost impossible. It is common at this age, that babies cry inconsolably if put down or left alone for even just a minute. I would really urge you to sit back and think hard on what limits are absolutely necessary for you to set and what you can let go of right now. Play lots of games with your daughter. He just screams in my arms. My daughter is 2 1/2 years old, and she used to be very affectionate. youre missing out, and so is your baby. Not an easy task as my parents DID love me conditionally. Trying to raise a 1 year old is impossible. Whats worse is that my mom seems to enjoy the attention from him. He will also frequently choose his dad over me. Try the sleep and switch. I know that nobody is going to want to hear this but your relationship with your child might never be the same if you just ignore it. What she calls you means nothing. Imagine what a huge change has just happened to your daughter, getting a new home, new parents, new environment. This has been completely devastating to me. I had him when I was 38 yrs old and have been a hands on mum all his life. If we know why this is happening maybe we can change it! She breaks her back trying to look for him when he leaves the room. 7) Be patient with yourselfat home and at work. So a temporary solution is essential. Ive reached the point where I want to leave my house and just leave her and my husband alone so see how they would make it without me. Have someone other than mom do the feeding 2. Feed your milk to your baby. xxx. Paula is right. If you can work part-time, do so. by | May 9, 2022 | cleanliness in islam hadith | hyatt regency seattle bathtub | May 9, 2022 | cleanliness in islam hadith | hyatt regency seattle bathtub why is he acting like im the worst person in the world? its my first child n i love her lots cos it took long for me to have her . read about this website and how it all started here. Am really worried if everything is ok with her, like if she is mentally growing. Is soo upseting bcuz this just sterted like a week ago befor it seemed that i was his everyhing he lovedd to be with me! Go swimming, play in the snow, go to the playground or just do something together that both of you enjoy. Now at 10 months old, she treated me with the same fondness and love that she had showed my husband during her early months. my husband always gets out and travel, but when he gets home, my boys are so excited to see him. bottomline she just wanted my husband.I guess having 2get through a c-sect, my gets 2spend more time with our girl. I encourage you, because Ive been there, to seek help if youre struggling with depression. I had to return to work recently (4 days a week) and daddy is at home more and takes my son to nursery and picks him up. It was very stressful for me not getting help for 7 months and throughout pregnancy. Whereas, with her, he SCREAMS. He hates being cuddled in my arms and the only time I manage to have him in my arms is when I am feeding him at night and ONLY because he is half asleep. But when she shows me something I tell her to show her mommy, and guess what, she shows me it again. This is painful, really painful. He also loves his father and grandmother. Consider co-sleeping with her that way she will quickly learn how cozy it is to snuggle with you. Have you ever considered that? And do things together all of you. You are only passing through this valley and nothing ever stays the same. It is not uncommon that a baby has periods of preferring one parent over the other, but it can be a bit of tabu and maybe something that people avoid talking about as if the rejected parent is doing something wrong. On the Internet Viral Reddit Baby Family. I know you'll be great. Im teaching and comes back home in the early evening. I come from work and he doesnt care if I am there I feel horrible because if my sister comes he gets so so happy and he crawls so fast to her and he wants her to carry him I get so sad but I keep it inside until tonight I just couldnt I cried and thought does he not love me? My daughter prefers my mother, as she looks after her while Im at college. (And no chords these evening until your baby is asleep! Take care of yourself during this time. This is quite common at around 1 year old, and can sometimes last until around the second birthday. At this, understanding and accepting a no simply is beyond her. My husband has always told me that I am crazy for thinking that she doesnt love me, but it is to the point where I really need some type of help to help my cope with this issue. It doesnt work! I had to go back to work part time at 6weeks, but have been 100% available and loving and devoted every second I have free. Understand your employer's leave policy, if you qualify for FMLA, and if any state or local laws impact parental leave. Thank you very much for the clarifications. You can never get this time back. Getting the Right Child Care. Your son loves you no less because he enjoys the company of his grandma. Try to sit back and be proud of yourself! If grandad isnt there he wants to no me but if he is there he just blanks me, i try my hardest to try get his attention with no luck he just ignores me & blanks me. She wants to be with anyone else in the house except me. Being a brand new baby with acid reflux, she was in pain trying to eat and probably very frustrated too. I feel so down. Sometimes I think having two woman caretakers might confuse her and therefore not recognize my role as a mother. I often wonder if it was like a viscious circle: he didnt want me, I got upset, he didnt want to be around me because I was upset, which made me more upset, which made him even less inclined to be around me and so on and so on. Thank you for letting us know that things got better, it has made all the difference to me. That doesnt mean that he doesnt love you. But it is normal and nothing you can do will stop it, at least not in a healthy way, since this is part of your childs development. Since you are at home, you have a lot of chances. Most nursing strikes are over, with the baby back to breastfeeding, within two to four days. I dont know what to do, I have to work to support her, and I want that bond. She scratches me especially on the face near my eyes which really hurts she sometimes bites me or cries when i go near her and refuses any toys i might give her also she longer longer enjoys any of the songs i used to sing to her. But you say that you gave up on her. what am I to do !! Warming the nipple (just run it under warm water) may help, too. I have not seen the same reaction for me. When I travel, we try to do video webcam at least once in two days when possible to stay in touch. Its easy for the preferred parent to dismiss our emotions. I just wanted to post an update and some encouragement that things really do get better with time. Sigh. Can I give you a challenge? I just cant get the image of her red angry little face out of my mind. I am not working and its just because of her that i am not working. Its been in the past few weeks that I have noticed that my almost year old son basically forgets that Im here when my husband or my mother walks in the door. She wants to go to ANYONE (atleast any relative that shes familiar with) instead of me; her dad most importantly. It is still, however, important to take into consideration a few things before actually going back to work: . Somtimes she seems to get very distressed, but at bedtime I read to her and hold her, my wife says Im the best person to get her to sleep? I want to tell you: this will pass. Im so depressed over this. i feel sad and discouraged i know that i shouldnt show it to her.. but i often wonder where i went wrong. i feel so alone and depressed. Yet our daughter still wants nothing to do with her except when its meal time. Ive seen couples fist fighting, calling the police, threatening to take the children and you name it. So the estrangement between the two of you became mutual. (, the milestones of a 1 month old baby here, 7-Month-Old Baby Sensitive To Loud Sounds Reasons & Remedies, My 1 Year 3 Month Baby Cant Talk or Walk? Perhaps though your sense of defeat is becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts. when i return,, i dont get to see that eagerness in my son to see me.. instead almost ignors me and spents his time with is aunt.. i dont even get a chance to be with him , play with him.. i feel very lonely unable to express my feelings towards my husband also.. nowadays he even sleeps with his aunt at night..i am not able to tolerate this anymore.. feeling light when i write this out openly.. hope that i would get adjusted to this situation.. afterall i cannot expect my son to change. Each baby will react differently and in their own way, so it's good to try alternatives until you find the right fit. Doesnt really explain the fact hes always preferred her since he was born. I have read all of the posts and it is kind of a double edge sword to say that I am glad that other people are or have gone through the same things that I am going through. Do you hug, cuddle, and laugh together? How can you respond when he's overly attached to one parent? My 20 month old is very particular to the fact that he doesnt need me! Not that I know who to be cross with anyway.Ive confided in my husband, who looks genuinely sorry for me and even feels a little guilty that he is on the receiving end of all this affection and love. I guess it is so devastating, her rejection of me because there is no one else in the world that I love more than her. Now a days she refuses my breast feeding. I have no idea what to do I play with her, I am the person that teaches her everything she knows, I am the one who gets up in the night to comfort her, I am the one preparing food and doing all the motherly things that need doing cuddling and playing but she still doesnt want me most of the time. I stayed until 11:30 every night to put her to bed and did everything else i was able to do. thanks for listening to my views. Toddler Milestones. I have been struggling with the same thing for the last two weeks. Sometimes a baby who is refusing to breastfeed may feed well in a different position (e.g. I dont know what to do, It really bothers me that she would rather be with my parents then her mother. His dad loves him but truly has done 15% of all that I do for the baby (feed, clean, entertain, She dribbled a lot of it out at first and he said she fussed a little a couple of times, but she does good now. She absolutely refuses and when I asked her pediatrician he basically said tough luck my baby is too smart to take a bottle. He even says lots of words including daddy, bruh bruh for his brother, nana, papa, juice, more, he even says my niece and nephews names, Michael and Mattie, but he has never said momma! Paula, please give me some advice! what am i doing wrong Why doesnt he want me once he sees grandma shouldnt he want me know that Im mommy this is killing me please help me its making me depressed! you are a good mother. hi.. i am a mother of 6 month old twin boys. She is very happy when she sees mom, the nanny or either sibling but seems really scared and just screams if I so much as walk into a room where she is (and Im not kidding). There are so many nights when I would cry myself to sleep from the heartbreak and helplessness that I feel. I am feeling so rejected and lonely. Which just doesnt help at all! When you get back, you're still the #1 mom. Since youve always been there for her, that might play a big part in what is going on. Really make sure that you put away all your worried, frustrated feelings when interacting with your daughter. 1. . Try rocking gently whilst feeding. Must be very painful for the mother. Avoid power struggles around cuddling at all costs! It hurts so bad and I feel like a failure, but I have to work to make money. oh, my daughter is almost 7 months. Therefore, the mom has a place to turn to when trying to make food for her family after a busy day and within a short time. Now, today is my sons 2nd birthday and Im delighted beyond words that my son is fully bonded with me and I truly feel like a real mother. I cant help having my heart broken. I am so sorry to hear about your situation and your pain. Around 12 weeks or so, speak with your boss about the details of your maternity leave. My partner goes away and when I am on my own we have a perfect routine and daddy comes home, she hits me and pushes me away. And you seem to interpret your daughters behavior as if she is blaming you. I was very badly rejected by my own mother when I was a child and so I feel the pain of rejection very easily. Work with your boss and colleagues to cover your workload and ease the transition. Starting earlier is sometimes suggested to prevent bottle refusal. First, talk to your mom about how you feel. This phenomenon of opting out is actually not widespread. When I gave birth for the second time, I not only gave birth to my first son but I also welcomed back an . But just a few days ago, when she saw my friend (mother of her playdate), she insisted her to pick her up while I was holding her. Take days of vacation or maternal leave, ask your mom to bring your daughter to your work for lunch, work from home, let go of as many of your chords as you can or do them together with your daughter, co-sleep with her, talk to her, bathe with her, sing to her. Since then she went on to refuse bottles, arching and screaming and after 3 months of age it was realises she had acid reflux, she was given meds and eventually this helped. Just remember you are a good mother for having these feelings!! Sadly even then I think this hard-wiring can persist until well into school years, maybe beyond. I think there are two things you should do. Your mother is totally taking over and you need to talk to her and if she wont listen then talk to a family member and ask if they can have a word with her with you. Here is the good news: you are not alone. My relationship with my son isnt the same anymore. Also if I am holding him and she walks by, he struggles to get away from me. Since you live with your parents, your situation is quite similar to that of all dads (usually), who work and come home, only to find that their child prefers mom, who is around all the time. we got seperated when she was 17 months. We laugh all the time! she would prefer me if she is with me and strangers but at home I am no where in her priority list. I have been in a relationship with his father for 13 years and we have a terrible physical relationship. not just for school its changing his diper or feeding him foods he will not eat from me at all i dont know why? She Fuses at me and doesnt smile at me and fuses and gets mad in the morning instead. My 5 year old son rejects me. I was disconnected from the baby during my whole pregnancy i was very depressed, but the second he was born i instantly fell in love and felt so ashamed that i felt the way i had. the other thing i discovered is that she is often reflecting what my own personal mood is. Otherwise, you will reinforce her wishes to put distance between the two of you and her wish to go to the other person, where does not experience any bad emotions. Depending on the babys age and who she has been around the most, one parent or the other will be the preferred one. Try to stay bright and relaxed, it really WILL get better. My 9-month-old daughter has started recently. I cant seem to find this answer. Help . They might have some preference at 1 point or the other, bt just continue loving them and they wd return it back eventually. hi my baby is 5 months old and still now she hasnt recognized me. From the day he was born (and Im his birth mother for heavens sake!) And as much as possible, have your wife join in. They all saw it for themselves as we were all on holiday together, but its my girlfriends mum & dad not mine but she doesnt see a problem but only a farther will tell. At around 3 to 5 years of age, children tend to become very attached to the parent of opposite gender. My baby is now 10 months today n when daddy comes home from work he just want to be with him i reach my hands to him n he doesnt want me to carry him but if my husband goes and trys to get him he automatically goes with him:'( im feeling really down But when daddy goes to work is different he wants me but it seems that is only choice he has .. My Mil also doesnt treat me well and still my child goes to her unknowingly. my in-laws dun understand wen i tells them. i feel like he doesnt want me home and i know its bad to say but i dont even look forward to coming home anymore? I am the one who always has to make contact if I want to see her or my grandkids. It makes me feel that its just a natural thing for some children to have a preference, but I hope it is just a phase cause I cant cope with it. I used to have a very tight relationship with my parents. If she wants dad to put her to bed, let her have dad, but see if you can figure out a way to join in now and then. With planning, you can meet your breastfeeding goals while at work or school. I try to kiss her, hold her and tell her that I miss her and all she does is throw a tantrum and cry until her dad is holding her again. Of these numbers, working moms are taking the brunt of the burden. My mom realizes and tries to reduce it a little, but to no avail. That is sick and the real mother should move out and seek help from friends and family. I rush home to see her and she cries/moans when she sees me I hold my hands out to her and she clings to whoever she is with at the time. I get jealous sometimes, and I wish that this was easier. Yes, I believe he should be happy, but I stop him from doing things that will lead to undesired future habits and behaviors. Just feel depressed that my 11-month-old does not want me and prefers my mom all the time its my fault.. due to certain unavoidable circumstances I had to leave her with my parents in my home country for 5 months, and now I am reunited with her (at 10 months)..its been a month with her now.. Ive been trying to bring her around to like me.. she does like me, I spend quite some time with her. I just could not take time off so his grandparents (his fathers parents) have stayed with him. I am a social worker and therefore I know all about attachment patterns and I just cant work this one out. well-behaved) in any way, youll just get very frustrated. Above all, enjoy these last few weeks with your little one. He is the best dad Ive ever seen (aside from my father) and always had his daughter for a few days a week straight since she was born. Make sure you give her 100% of your attention for at least 30 minutes each day and have FUN together during those 30 minutes. Then I have my daughter four years later, and she is the same way, and she was born vaginally, immediately placed skin to skin, and I never worked or was separated from her. That is an excellent way to allow the two of you to bond. When he was 4-6 mos, a friend was holding him and he didnt want to come back to me when I asked for him. as a side note: i think post-partum depression is viewed as a shameful thing. I am just grateful to know this happens in other cases. I have a step-son myself, and even though his mom is great, he absolutely did not want to talk to her on the phone when he was little. The weird thing is when I pick her up she whines and clings to her dad and when I put her in the car she is fine and talking 10 mins down the road.. is this the transition between both parents? she cries alot wen i pick her back from wrk . Also she is obsessed with my mother and just ignores me or is mean to me. I am in love with my son but I am starting to get severely depressed, spent most of today sporadically crying and avoiding contact with him jus to keep him happy I feel like the house is happier when I am not seen or heard and I am so sad I try not to let him see it but I have gone weeks now where he doesnt want to look at me or talk or play with me. You are not the only mother this has happened to. If she is secure enough to bond with your mother this quickly, chances are that the bond between you and your daughter will also happen very naturally and grow strong. In the world of occupational therapy, you often hear about the sensory and emotional needs of older kids who are struggling with sensory processing. i have a baby girl who is now almost a month old. Ive read what Paula has said many times about the excitement of being with someone different and I understand. I do each and every work for her. Guess what, she shows me it again hurts and more so because i not... 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